Can you believe it? There is a kind of erotic work that only you can see. You don’t have to pay money, and you don’t have to scour the Internet to find it. It could be a picture or a few minutes of drama.
In your mind’s eye, naked with your loved one, you feel like you’re flying through the air after a sometimes violent and sometimes tender encounter, but when you open your eyes and return to reality, your mind can change dramatically. All kinds of negative thoughts come flooding in and you just want to bury your face in the pillow as you recall what you were thinking…
What is a sexual fantasy?
Sexual fantasy is a mental experience that occurs during Sexual activity (masturbation or sex). It can be an image, an idea, or a complete story. This mental activity is completely controllable, you can decide who is in your sexual fantasies and so on. It could also be processing of past experiences. In reliving this fantasy, you filter out the bad or less exciting scenarios and focus on reinforcing the details that excite you especially.
Sexual fantasies are universal. Research on sexual fantasies in the UK shows that 96% of men and 90% of women have experienced sexual fantasies. It has even been said that there are only two kinds of people in the world, those who have fantasies and those who don’t. So it’s safe to say that sexual fantasies are nothing special. We all have a natural capacity for imagination, but it just happens to involve sex.
Therefore, for those with functional orgasm disorder or sexual partners who are bored with their sexual life, sexual fantasies have positive therapeutic significance and can make their sexual life more satisfying. For sexually compatible couples, fantasy can add fun.
The content of sexual fantasies
Sexual fantasies are universal and varied, simple and complex, tender and abusive, positive and negative, and sometimes both. The content of sexual fantasy varies according to gender, age, sexual orientation, and social status. It can be influenced by personal desires and experiences. Fantasizing about romantic scenarios, re-enactments of past sexual experiences and unusual and even taboo sexual behaviors are common themes of sexual fantasy.
The most common fantasies, for both men and women, were: reenactments of exciting sexual experiences, imagining sex with a present capricious partner and imagining sex with a different partner. People’s sexual fantasies are also used to escape the confines of real life by imagining dangerous or illegal situations. While men and women share many common sexual fantasies, research over the years has highlighted differences between men and women.
Women tended to fantasize about sexual contact with an imaginary person with whom they had no physical contact, while men tended to fantasize about past sexual experiences. Women’s fantasies tend to be more focused on spiritual sexual stimulation, while men’s fantasies are more direct, casual, and seek visual impact. Men are more likely than women to fantasize about having multiple sexual partners.
The role of sexual fantasy
During sexual activity, some people can use sexual fantasies to eliminate other factors. Use sexual fantasies to focus your attention and hold on to arousal to reach orgasm faster. Sexual fantasies can also be a way for people to deal with stress, especially in the face of discomfort, by creating hypothetical situations as a coping mechanism. In addition, fantasies can be used as part of sex therapy because of their role in promoting arousal and orgasm. Many sex therapists encourage their patients to use fantasies and masturbation as a stimulant to enhance sexual interest.
What is a healthy sexual fantasy?
Reading this, you may wonder if the sexual fantasies you have ever had are normal. There is little point in discussing what is normal or not because it varies from person to person and changes from time to time. There is no fixed standard that can be used as a reference, but there are three key points that can help you decide if your fantasies need treatment or intervention.
1. Be in Control: You can control and schedule your fantasies so that they don’t happen at the wrong time.
2. Do not affect their daily life: because frequent sexual fantasy will not affect their work, study, or even disrupt their own work and rest.
3. Don’t hurt others: Although you have fantasized about some extreme and illegal content, you can distinguish between fantasy and reality and can control yourself not to do the behaviors that will hurt others in your fantasy.
If your fantasies are manageable, accept that they are perfectly normal and don’t feel guilty about being sexually related or fantasizing about something too exotic. If you want to reduce your sexual fantasies, you can try avoiding triggers, exercising, and finding alternatives.
When something is sexual, no matter how mundane it is, it suddenly seems to be full of ambivalence. People are drawn to it, confused, guilty, and repulsive at the same time, and so are sexual fantasies. Since it’s perfectly normal, accept it and let it be the spice of your life. Life is so long, it’s okay to have a little fantasy. Sex toys must be involved in different scenarios of sexual fantasy, which is a great aid in achieving orgasm.